


Trial and Error

by unagidragonroll



Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: M/M, an attempt to write drabble, and it has to be an angst, pure wordvomit tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25969576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unagidragonroll/pseuds/unagidragonroll
Summary: It’s just an unfortunate trial and error.
Relationships: Choi Byungchan/Han Seungwoo
Kudos: 7





	Trial and Error

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based on phum viphurit’s trial and error

The rain has just stopped. 

Leaving the road with puddles, the plants drenched, and the surrounding blue.

At least, maybe for Seungwoo who has been tightening and loosening his grip on the younger’s hand.

“It’s okay,” he mentally repeats. “It’s okay.”

Because he’s been saying that like a mantra, and maybe too much for the magic to happen.

“It’s not the first time for me,” Byungchan said earlier that night, “You knew that already.”

“Yes, and it’s okay,” he said in reply.

Again.

“It’s not okay, hyung. Why do you keep insisting that it’s okay? That this, is okay?” his lower lip quivered, “It’s not. It really isn’t.”

though deep down, he felt ache somewhere inside his chest, it was nothing compared to pain upon swallowing the sight before him. Therefore he said, “You’ve tried.”

“But I didn’t—“

“You’ve tried, and if it didn’t work out, then it’s okay.” Seungwoo placed a hand on the younger’s tear-stained cheek, “It’s okay, you did well, Byungchan.”

And again.

“It’s been countless trials and errors,” he choked, “I really thought this one could work out. But eventually, it didn’t. And it’s mostly because of me not wanting to give more, to do more.”

Seungwoo watched as his trembling hand reached his own.

“I just— I thought I could do more, I thought I could— I wanted to put more efforts into this.”

No, Seungwoo said inwardly as the younger’s slender fingers pulled down his hand, letting more tears to fall freely on his cheeks.

“But this, exhausts me. And I know it’s unfair because I’m the one who caused the pain, yet I’m here sprouting about how tiring this is. Just— just yell at me, slap me, curse, whatever. But I can’t go any further than this,” he looked up and another tear fell, “I just can’t stand seeing another person hurting because of me, again.”

Seungwoo’s free hand pulled him into a hug. If he said he couldn’t see another person hurting because of him, then Seungwoo, too, didn’t want Byungchan hurting like this, ever again. So he whispered, “Trials and errors, remember?”

Byungchan nodded in between his son, “But—“

“Then it’s okay.” Seungwoo hugged him tighter, “It’s just another trial and error.”

Then his sorry came next.

Then another.

Then another.

Then another until it hit him.

“I’m sorry it’s not you, either,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Seungwoo’s grip loosens then he looks up.

“Can’t you try, one more time?” Seungwoo’s voice breaks. “Please?”

Byungchan pulls his released hand slowly to his lap.

Seungwoo sits there, watching the few centimeters between their hands looks like a miles away. He’s there, but he’s not reachable. Not this time.

Then Byungchan shakes his head again, “I’m sorry.”

Because it’s not okay for Byungchan to leave him like this,

when he’s still desperately in love,

when he’s still yearning to be with him,

but feeling Byungchan’s wamth through his hug, seeing his smile before he bids his good night, and that small thank you before he walks in —

maybe, maybe it’ll be okay.  
It’s just another trial and error.


End file.
